the life aquatic.

aquariums are pretty cool, neighbors.
for real.
and the one i was at this week follows the rules.
yeah!
you know i like that sort of stuff.
outdoor tanks,
full of gross blubbery creatures swimming in tiny circles;
school trips full of crappy young people who don't give a single sh!t about fish;
armpitiful clammy cramped dimly lit cave-type carpeted chambers;
all of it, all at once, all together...
rules is rules,
and those are the main ingredients.
plus,
mystic marinelife aquarium has penguins,
which have become kind of a thing....
it used to be all about fish, and maybe a trained seal, or a even a dolphin.
these days, though, it's all about flightless seabirds.
we got there right when the spot opened up,
and were among the first duders to get inside.
as a result of our timely arrival,
the view of those south african A*-holes was unobstructed.
teleport:

awwwwwww, man.
they're molting.
big filthy greasy clots of oily feathers were falling off of 'em in chunks,
and they sat around looking pretty mangy and dirty,
like a pack of wild water pigeons.
ew.
and speaking of being ugly, but also dope-
the sea lions are totally gross.
hunchbacked jellydogs who love mackerel an' that?
yuck.
we watched one catch about thirty fish in his face, in a row, from twenty feet away.
that was cool, except for all of it.
y'know?
teleport:

they just look like boneless felt weaselhounds, don't they?
ew! i know! and when they're wimming, that fluidity isn't graceful, it's disturbing.
i can't help but think of some sort of parasitic invader
whenever i watch them wriggle around upside down in that salty sauce.
i can't hang out with aquatic mammals, guys.
nope.
i just don't get it.
could be my overwhelming attraction to the woodsly goodness prevents any
real lasting connection to the ocean,
or maybe they are all just kind of nasty looking jiggly wormish jauns,
and that's not really ever gonna be my thing...
however,
there's a nature walk around the outdoor pond,
and that algae-scummed spit-pit is completely expert.
fresh water is fresh in other ways too.
i guess i'm a mountain man and forest dweller in my core,
bnecause i could've sat out there all day,
looking at all the flora and fauna that i've got at home, too.
word up.
the thing is, it was awesome, and that's no joke.
giant bullfrogs were croaking;
leopard frogs were sunbathing;
turtles were doing whatever they do, which looks like it might be nothing at all;
polliwogs were tadpoling;
koi and perch were swimming;
and those waterlilypad flowers were going OFF!

nice!
of course,
there were fish on fish on fish on fish inside,
and budgies or parakeets or whatever in a weird giant cage,
waiting to poop on you for $3 apiece.
i guess that's sort of a thing.
i feed birds every day here at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
so i'm less motivated to look at slightly prettier fenced-in fowl.
they still chirp their A*s off whether you feed them or not.
i s'pose that's just infinite nature doing it's thing.
*
anyway,
what's the coolest thing there?
yuuuuuuuuup.
everybody loves 'em.
they are your favorite magic glow creatures-
the squishy squirty stingy sacks of translucent terror form the deeps.
mmmhmmmm.
check the teleport:

jelly.
the undersea hottness,
with poison gut strands that want to kill you.
that's rad.
***********
aquarium time is a good time.
i was told there were polar bears, but that was categorically false.
i really like bears, because bears know how to take it easy,
AND how to berserk out and wreck the joint.
alas,
there were seahorses, and sea lions, and sea stars,
but no ursine attackers.
maybe next year, they'll get their sh!t together.
in the meantime,
we saw it all, and spanned time in the arms of these captive catches
from the untamed waters from near and far.
was there even a one-armed blue lobster?
yes.
i wonder if they ate him, just a little bit, knowing he'll grow it back?
that's not very cool, nor very likely, but still,
do blue lobsters taste better?
i can only hope not-
seems only fair that if  they're already special,
they should taste worse.
i guess i just base that on my own personal flavors-
if you're already a rare breed, then most folks should avoid you.
ummm, wait.
that's actually sort of a bummer.
womp womp;
never quiet, never soft.....