Sunday, March 29

browse.

there's too much snow.
still.
so much snow, in fact,
that the animals are getting grumpy, and taking it to the streets.
that's real.
neighbors,
the wild is encroaching,
and it's sending mixed messages.
check the good-morning-deer-type teleport:
yup.
and before you start with your animal-friendly 'awwwwww' sh!t...
save those sappy stoopid sentiments for a second and look a little closer...
ew.
so gross.
that little jerk is eating my bushes.
oh, yeah,
she's a hungry, desperate A*-hole, for sure,
but,
i still don't recall inviting any living creatures over for a spring sprig buffet.
i'm sure it's not her first choice, either,
but what the heck else is she gonna munch up?
i'm sayin',
it's all still snow everywhere up here.
ma nature just put too damned much of a blizzardly batch of
overstayed and unwelcome arctic sauce on the woodsly goodness,
and the shoots and sprouts are all still sleeping under the frozen earth.
i mean, it's eleven degrees.
and that's actually not that awesome, y'know?
still,
why do those dirty brown F*ers have to come up in MY spot,
and start crackin' off some property damage?
guys,
for real,
why not wreck some of the other other homes on the hill?
nobody even lives in most of 'em.
it's like the animals around here all know that the vacation-style mansions
and manors of my neighborhood are obviously off-limits,
since those are where a better group of people
i've got such suckier people occasionally living nearby,
and they'd probably not even notice the nibbles on their nasturtiums or whatever.
instead,
i have to wake up to nature trying to wreck all the new growth in my backyard.
nature wins by eating itself?
that's true, i s'pose.
i just don't want to eat a deer.
.....maybe i'll just throw a rock at her tomorrow.
not that i haven't done that every year already,
and she's still here snacking on the flora of the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
huh?
yep.
i throw stones, frequently.
my house isn't all glass, after all-
despite the panoramic picture window situation
through which i view the woodsly goodness.
mmmhmmm.
*
i don't like looking at animals.
that's a true story.
i'm glad they feel safe here with me,
and that they want to snow white scamper through the snow white acres....
however,
they're not invited to dinner.
i'm not running a charity over here.
nobody eats for free.
remember that;
never quiet, never soft.....

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